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Dear LinkedIn--

Fuck you. Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou.

On a random whim, I Googled the name of a childhood friend I'd lost touch with some years ago. The last I knew of her, she was moving to New Orleans. Ever since Katrina, I've been wondering whether or not she's still alive. Like, literally, not just in an abstract gosh-it's-been-a-while sense.

I found a profile that might be hers, but I'm not sure.

So I click to see the profile. Oh, sorry, you're not working, you're upgrading servers or something and you'll be back up in half an hour.

So I click again a half an hour later and you've nudged the ETA to be back up by another half hour.

I go through this a few more rounds and get my brains sucked out by the internets in the meantime and finally, you're up.

But, of course, if I want to actually view the profile, I'll need to sign up for your service. Yeah, whatever, here's my name, here's my gmail, here's my confirmation. Takes me a few rounds for the confirm email to take, but okay.

So I hunt for her profile again and, oh, sorry, you still won't actually let me SEE it until I upgrade to business class or whatever.

Okay, I'll send a message.

Oh, but the inbox doesn't work either. Unless I upgrade.

Did I mention, fuck you?

So I click to add her as a connection and there's a space I can leave a note so I leave a frantic and slightly cryptic message to this person who may or may not be the girl responsible for getting me into Duran Duran and hope to all things holy that she somehow gets the message and somehow contacts me back.

Fuck you, LinkedIn. Fuck. You.

yours sincerely,



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 2nd, 2008 08:04 am (UTC)
LinkedIn is the biggest scam out there. Flee. FLEE!
May. 7th, 2008 05:45 am (UTC)
Um. Since my thesis is on social networks, I have a profile on LinkedIn. I never visit it, but I'm sure I could have added you. That might have gotten around the "you need to upgrade" nonsense, as I don't recall having the difficulties you note, and I was invited to LinkedIn by a grad school professor as a colleague.

The "deal" with LinkedIn is similar to how FaceBook used to work, if I am keeping my networks straight. FaceBook used to require that you be affiliated with a university or school, IIRC, and could join only if invited by someone at your institution. That was a while back, I think it is more open to the public now.

Joining LinkedIn without an invite was probably annoying because they seem to be trying to make it a useful professional resource. If anyone could join easily, there would be people misrepresenting their job status and titles (or so I assume they think), so they probably add extra hurdles to the process for blind applications that invited applicants don't see.

Or, just as likely, something has changed since I accepted the invite to LinkedIn and the new app process is equally annoying for everyone. :)

In truth, LinkedIn goes against my instincts online, as I try to keep a low profile and not put too much of my "real" information online. I have been tracked down via MySpace by two ex-boyfriends, the worst roommate I ever had, some high school friends (that was nice, actually) and acquaintances (there's a reason I don't go to reunions, people), and a bunch of horny strangers.

It is rather ironic that my thesis involves social networks, as I tend to be very selectively social in real life, and not particularly interested in sharing my personal details with strangers. I'm so old school about Internet usage that I still view dating networks as cesspools of trouble and aggravation, because, for me, personally, the Internet is not a good place to meet romantic prospects. Friends? Sure. But most of my friends aren't going to try to see me naked and stuff. :P
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )