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Happy Birthday, docwhoopee!

It's my big brother's birthday today! Whoo-hoo! One week from today, he'll be getting things ready for DragonCon, so I hope he manages to slip some kind of relaxation in today . . .

(Wow, my iPhone and my MacBook both reminded me about my haircut appointment tomorrow, thanks to the wonders of iCal. I kinda wish I had more appointments so I could use this more often.)

So, yeah, the job hunt continues. There are only so many jobs to apply for in a day, so I'm also making use of the time to update my Second Life Newbie Page and start yet another blog. I have a clear floor in my bedroom again, so I was able to do my yoga routine on it this morning.

Once again, I have this vague sense of everything being on hold Until After DragonCon. I'm looking forward to it this year, even if I don't have much exciting to report to the people I see there. ("I've been unemployed for most of the year and I finished a novel but none of the five people I've sent it to have had time to read it and tell me what they think of it. And how are you?") It's just nice to be able to talk to people who do things like read and think.

I've been getting out of the house here and there, going to see bands with long names (Gentlemen Jesse and His Men, Blair Crimmins and the Hookers, The Soulphonics with Ruby Velle) and doing some volunteer stuff for a local real estate investor's group. There are still entire days when I don't speak aloud to anyone, though, and I wonder if that needs to be rectified or merely noted.

So, yeah. I'm still here, still plugging away, still lurking on your journals, reading your posts, but a bit too blocked to respond in detail.

Today I took pleasure in morning yoga.

Today I learned what my iPhone sounds like when it's reminding me of an appointment.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 28th, 2009 06:07 pm (UTC)
and I finished a novel but none of the five people I've sent it to have bothered to read it and tell me what they think of it.

Yeah, you know, I sort of resent that. Because I have so much time to read right now and critique.

People are busy and have lives and other obligations. And I did email you to tell you it would be awhile before I can get to it. I really don't like the P/A guilt trip.
Aug. 28th, 2009 06:44 pm (UTC)
I'm not asking for a detailed critique. From anybody. All I really want is for somebody to read the thing from beginning to end and tell me if it makes any SENSE and if it's worth fixing. A few hours of time and a yes/no/maybe answer. That's IT.

And note that you're one of FIVE people that I'm being vaguely grumpy about and you're not the only one of them on my friendslist.

And maybe I'm a little hurt to find out that catching up on accumulated episodes of your favorite television series is a higher priority on your list right now. I mean, I know it's no big deal to you, but I've been in limbo about this for months now and it's frustrating as hell to not have any idea what the hell I'm supposed to do with this thing, whether I should try to revise it to the point of publication or just give it a decent burial. I can't see it clearly anymore, I'm trying to get an outside perspective and nobody I've asked has the time to provide one. Nobody. Not even the guy who asked "So, when do I get to read it?" before I even had the thing stitched together from the NaNo drafts. It's not just you--five people I trusted with this and all I've gotten is apologies so far.

I just want someone to read it through ONCE. I don't need a line-by-line beta on it, because there probably won't be a word left standing by the time I'm through with the next pass. I just need to know if this is a story worth sharing with the rest of the world. That's all I'm asking. And, apparently, that's far too much.
Aug. 28th, 2009 06:51 pm (UTC)
Yeah, at this moment, it is. You don't get to judge what I do with my free time or how I wind down from a 12 hour day at work. If I feel like doing something mindless, then that's my right.

This piece of work is something you put a lot of thought & effort into. It's also over 300 pages. And, I'm sorry, but I can't read 300 pages in a few hours. So, yeah, it's gonna take me some time to give it the attention it deserves.

I recognize you want to get to the next phase of writing this, but you have to realize the people you've chosen all have lives and other things they're doing.

That's all I'm asking. And, apparently, that's far too much.

Once again with the guilt. Stop it, Sheila. Seriously. People not giving you FB on your work is not a reflection of you as a person or as a writer. So calm down, take a deep breath, and maybe think about a 'hey, just checking to see how the reading of the book is going & if you have any initial feedback for me?' email rather than a woe is me post about how you've been ignored.

Edited at 2009-08-28 06:52 pm (UTC)
Aug. 28th, 2009 08:20 pm (UTC)
I didn't write a "woe is me post" until you had to go and poke me over one line in a larger entry. Then, and only then, did I go off.

I know you're right, though, and that's probably what hurts the most about it. That I'm in no position to expect anything without coming across like a spoiled brat. That I'm stuck with waiting until someone's life clears up enough to handle my little imposition. So I just swallow it all down until it spits out in one passive-aggressive line in my journal and then vomits out when you call me on it. So I'm stuck here with my doubts and self-loathing, hoping that someone will tell me that my time wasn't wasted and fearing that's what I'll be told in the end.

I'm going to edit the line so it's a little less bitchy, if that helps at all.
Aug. 28th, 2009 08:30 pm (UTC)
Semantics. You knew what I meant. :P

And it's not an imposition to read this. If it was, dude, I think we ALL know how to say no. You know I do. So, remember that.

Also, as cliched as it may sound, any time spent in any creative endeavor is never wasted. You write for yourself. You publish for other people. But the writing is its own reward. So be proud of that.

Honestly, I think you need to take this downtime to heart & start plotting out your next story or take a walk or do something that ISN'T obsessing about what we may or may not think if and when we get around to reading this.
Aug. 29th, 2009 05:00 pm (UTC)
ahhh yoga! You inspire me to maybe actually do something this weekend.
Aug. 30th, 2009 02:05 am (UTC)
I have days like that, too...less now that my sister is living with me. But before that, yeah. There were days when I talked to the dog a LOT.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )