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Holiday Elves Invaded My Mailbox

Yesterday at work, somebody jammed a gift bag full of stuff into my designated mailbox. This probably took some doing, as my mailbox is probably one of the fullest in the store, not because I'm particularly important but because I'm terrible about letting things pile up and not throwing them out. I should probably do a purge before the new year, whereby I will find that 90% of the stuff in my box is wholly unnecessary.

But anyway. The bag was rather nice--it was a blue bag with white marabou trim and a blue-and-white beaded handle. Pinned to the edge was a button which read "Can You Imagine A World Without Hypothetical Situations?" So whoever gave it to me has probably seen my leather jacket with the buttons pinned on one shoulder and figured one more wouldn't hurt.

Contained within the bag were the following:

Two Christmas-themed candles--one of a stocking, the other of a tree.
A blue candy cane, which is probably fruit-flavored, but I haven't sampled it yet.
A chocolate covered marshmallow Santa.
A miscellany of foil-wrapped chocolates in Christmas-themed shapes (Santas, snowmen, toys, bells, etc.)
Some raspberry and creme Creme Savers.
A Sylvester The Cat PEZ dispenser.
A package of Omni Glow jewelry--two bobby pins and a necklace, with snap-and-shake glowsticks to attach.
A pair of balls coated in blast-cap type material that make blast-cap noises when you whack 'em together and stir up a blast-cap type stink when they do.
A Splat Pig.

A. Splat. Pig. It's a little clear rubber pig that appears to be coated with the same weird slimy stuff they'd put on those little rubber octopi that you got free with your breakfast cereal back in the 80s--the ones that you'd throw on the wall and they'd stick and gradually work their way down the wall, battered between the forces of gravity and adhesion. The Splat Pig comes with the following warning on the back of the package:

Caution: Splat Pig is oily and sticky, so be careful where you put or throw it. It can be harmful to certain painted or finished surfaces, and is nearly fatal to wallpaper. And never, ever eat a Splat Pig even though it is non-toxic. Splat Pig is not intended for children under 3 years old. It is intended only for you.

I have absolutely no idea who gave this to me. Not everybody in the store got such a package (I saw a few other bags in a few other mailboxes) and I don't know if they got a Splat Pig, too.

I'm probably reading too much into it. It's just such an odd mix of Things Perfect For Me (Creme Savers! Chocolate! Things That Glow!) and Things I Don't Know What To Do With (Splat Pig?)

Then again, Christmas itself tends to wind up being that, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.