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I dashed this off last night and it got me to the second round of Slam Night at Java Monkey.


And as I lay there with you
Body against body, heat to heat
Hearing the slow rhythm of your breath
Inhaling the scent of your skin
Still tasting your lips on my lips
It occurred to me--

How would I feel, I wondered
If someone told me this craving
I have for you, this electric
current flowing between us
was unreal, unnatural, un-American?

How would I feel if somebody told me
I just hadn't met the right girl?

How would I feel if I wasn't
allowed to touch you, to hold you
to kiss you, to taste you, to come
with you?
If I had to live in fear of being
caught where I am, in your arms like this?
How would I feel if I wasn't allowed
to bind myself, promise myself to you?
How would I feel if a thousand talk radio wonks
were blathering that what we were doing now
this simple act of being together
was wrong?

How would I feel if the sweetness of my desire
was tainted by the bitterness of a world
telling me it was evil?

I fear that I would hate.
A hate that I would have to swallow daily like bitter medicine.
I'd be filled with a rage
to match my passion,
that I'd want to scream in pain
and hurt people, just for condemning me.

You stirred for a moment.
"What's wrong?" you asked, "You seem tense all of the sudden."
"I was thinking," I said, "About how I would feel
if somebody hurt you."
(Half-lie, half-truth.)
You squeezed me more tightly.
"It's okay," you said, "I'm pretty resilient."
"I'm glad," I said.
And we drifted to sleep, safe and protected
by privilege.

Today I took pleasure in a walk outdoors instead of a grind on the treadmill.

Today I learned it's hard for me to concentrate on phone calls to law offices when there's a leaf blower blaring just outside my window.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 10th, 2006 02:53 am (UTC)

That's a pretty damn good piece of prose there.
Jan. 10th, 2006 04:18 am (UTC)
I have to agree with arielograpy. Very damn good and very thought provoking.
Jan. 10th, 2006 01:21 pm (UTC)
That's beautiful - well done, and so true. :)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )